Late to the Game

I'm sitting around a table with four or five other people. I'm maybe 15 or 16 years old. Some of these people I have been friends with for years, though I haven't seen them much since I moved across town. They're incredibly friendly, incredibly welcoming, and yet I feel tense. We're sitting around a table, playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. I want to enjoy myself, but I'm too intimidated. Everyone else here has been playing for a long time. I'm afraid that I look stupid because I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel overwhelmed by the details and rules. I'm worried that every question I ask annoys them. I'm also worried what the rest of my social circle would think of me playing a table top role playing game. I play maybe one more campaign with them over the next couple of months and then we grow apart. 

Image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeons_%26_Dragons

It's a decade later and I want to get into D&D. I realize now what I was too nervous to see then - if I wanted to enjoy the game, I should have just been honest. I should have told them I was nervous. Told them I felt like an idiot for not knowing the rules. Maybe asked for more help. There were a lot of other things going on at the time (I was a teenager, no surprise) but I have no doubt that I would have been welcomed and would have picked up the flow of the game fairly quickly. And forget about what anyone else thought about what I decided to do with my free time. 

I've been meaning to write this post for a while now. I think our hobbies and interests are very important to us. Many of us define ourselves by them; we spend our free time and money - as little as that may be - enjoying and investing in them. We might even wear t-shirts or pins to show them off. We might throw parties or attend events to celebrate them. We cosplay and permanently tattoo our bodies.

Image source: http://fuckyeahharrypottertattoos.tumblr.com/page/7

Some of our hobbies and interests we are practically born with. I grew up in a home with Lord of the Rings and Sword of Shannara on the bookshelf and movie nights featuring Legend, Willow, and Star Wars. Science fiction and fantasy, literature and film... these were things I came to love very early in my life and it was easy to immerse myself in them because they were loved and promoted at home.

Not all of our interests come about this way. For instance, my love for anime was something I discovered on my own. I watched Sailor Moon, Digimon and Cardcaptor on YTV and I knew I wanted to look into this genre further. I knew I wanted more. My parents didn't really get it though and none of my friends growing up showed more than a passing interest. I didn't really start exploring a variety of movies and shows until first year university. The fact is, it can be a real challenge to start a new hobby.

I mean, what don't you get about this Mom and Dad? Also, I'm pretty sure Matt was my first love.
Image source: http://kidfromthe6ix.com/2014/08/08/my-top-15-ytv-shows-growing-up/

The challenge arises from a variety of factors - how niche or stigmatized that hobby is, whether anyone around you has that hobby, the cost involved, the amount of information required to start, whether it is a solo or group activity, etc.

A lot of my interests, and a lot of so-called "geek" hobbies, are fairly niche. Many also have some sort of prejudice or stigma attached (e.g. anime is for kids, video games are for teen boys, LARPing is for the socially-inept). This alone is a huge barrier to overcome, especially for someone whose immediate social circle may not be interested. But it is so worth it to find something you enjoy doing.

If you look back over my blog posts, you'll realize that many are dedicated to recommendations. I even did a guide for those who wanted to start getting into anime. The reason I do these posts is because I've been there. Anime, video games, comics... these are all things I embraced as I got older, and they are an incredibly important part of my life now. Anime was mostly self-driven exploration but the others required a lot of help.

My dad played a lot of video games when I was a kid, but by the time I was old enough to really start playing them on my own, we only had one outdated system. I played a bit at my friends' houses, but I missed out on a lot of titles until I grew up and married a man with a passion for gaming. That interest was always there, but the accessibility wasn't. I still face criticism when people find out I haven't played all of the classics (I missed out on most of the Zeldas, Final Fantasies, etc, etc), but I don't let that stop me. Your interests are what are important, irrelevant of whether they fit inside of some box labelled "gamer". If you're having fun, then who cares. If you feel like going back and playing the titles you've missed over the years, go for it! If they don't interest you, forget about them. As long as you can afford (or find if you're into retro games) a system and some titles, gaming isn't too hard to get into. Ignore the haters and just check out reviews and titles on the internet. Or ask store clerks and friends for recommendations. You'll eventually find people with tastes similar to yours and sites that tend to parallel your own opinions.

It was super exciting to watch... I swear. These graphics, top of the line.
Image source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec9AD_KxtyM

Comics are tougher, in my opinion. As a kid I loved all the comic book shows and movies - Batman, Superman, X-men, Spiderman, and so on - but no one in my family read comics. None of my friends read comics either as far as I know (or no one I felt comfortable asking). I'm pretty sure my town had only one comic book store and it wasn't exactly newbie friendly. I was a kid with no idea where to start, limited internet access, and no one to turn to. I finally got up the nerve to buy the Sandman series, and as an adult I met a friend who was more than happy to suggest titles and lend me his copies.

And that's just the relationships... 
Image source: http://www.businessinsider.com/marvel-relationships-chart-2015-2

The difficulty with comics is simply that some of the universes are freaking massive. Marvel in particular, but a lot of the DC stuff is really daunting too. Luckily there's some amazing one-offs and short series that are great to start with. I just ignore the individual issues and wait for the trade paperback versions to be released (volumes that collect a chunk of individual issues). Of course, if you really want to start getting into the big DC and Marvel titles like Batman or the Avengers, the internet is a wonderful resource. You can find recommendation reading lists or background summaries if you just want to catch up. There are also convenient anthologies put together for fans of certain characters. And honestly, just ask the guy or girl at the counter. They may not know everything, but they are there because they love comics.

If you do happen to be someone who has wanted to get into comics for a while... this is actually a good time. DC just rebooted their titles with the New 52 a few years ago and Marvel is currently restructuring their whole universe with the Secret Wars. Things are starting fairly fresh and you have a lot less background to research (unless of course you want to, then by all means).

The point I'm trying to make is that it's never too late to start a new hobby. My husband and I just started getting into board games after years of talking about it. We just pick up whatever looks interesting or check out the reviews on BoardGameGeek. As I mentioned, we also want to get into D&D - a fairly large endeavor considering we don't know anyone in the area who plays and only one of us has any experience playing. We refuse to let that stop us, even if that means getting to know some new people in town or modifying the game to play on our own.

If there's something you've been yearning to try, don't wait for years like I did. Do some research. Ask around. Check out community organizations or the local library (you'd be surprised by some of the how-to's libraries host). The fact is that most people LOVE to talk about their interests (I mean, that's pretty much what I'm doing right now), so it never hurts to ask. If they criticize you, walk away. If they were really passionate about it they'd be happy that another person was interested too. And, of course, the flip side is that we need to be tolerant of other people's interests when they're different and make them feel welcome when they're similar.

Whether you're curious about role playing, Disc World, manga, Doctor Who, coding, comics... whatever... look into it. And I know the focus here is on geek culture, but the same goes for things like art, crafts and sports. You're not too late to join in.

If you've tried something new recently feel free to share in the comments. And if any of the people from my original D&D experience are reading... thanks for being so welcoming and patient. It may not have been the right time, but that positive experience is part of the reason I want to try again.