September in Wonderland

I love fall. Though I can honestly say I love all of the seasons, fall is definitely my favourite. Warm sweaters, cool breezes, colourful leaves, pumpkins (and everything pumpkin spice). I could go on forever about how much I anticipate this season.

And cute babies chasing after leaves...

It goes without saying then, that I love things that feel like fall. (You know what I mean: books and stories that have that Autumnal feeling. The feeling of red, gold and brown, of cinnamon spice, of crisp air, of tart apples with brown sugar, of early evening and the embrace that is coming home out of the cold, of beginnings and endings.)

I also love Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass.

Bear with me here.

For all the stories that claim to be like Alice in Wonderland, I've never actually found one that comes close. This includes the film adaptations of the story itself.

You see, both books have no real purpose. They are stories in their purest form. Alice's adventures are like dreams - they resemble the real world in the sense that the objects and characters within them are recognizably familiar, but the events that occur and the rules that govern them often have no relation to the real world. So while the concept of a sheep, a boat and knitting are familiar, suddenly finding oneself in a boat with a sheep knitting with several needles is entirely absurd.

Unlike most stories, there is no overarching plot to the Wonderland books. There isn't really good and evil. There isn't much in the way of character development. There is no grand goal or quest. There is simply curiosier and curioser.

Except for the fact that Through the Looking is actually the move set of a finished chess game... But I digress.

Disney's adaptation tells the story of a little girl improving her character and finding her way home from a dark, terrifying fairy world. Not too far from the truth, but they skip all the really good (weird) bits and make the plot much more cohesive. Tim Burton just took the most popular characters from the story and inserted them into some grand tale about good and evil that had no resemblance to the source material.

Image Source: http://www.costumersguide.com/alice_halloweencostumes.shtml

My favorite adaptation is the 1999 TV movie with Whoopi Goldberg, Martin Short, Gene Wilder, Miranda Richardson etc. Despite Rotten Tomatoes giving it a 33%, I felt it most loyally portrayed the events of the stories. Although, once again, they provided it with some overarching plot about stage fright to give it cohesiveness.

The closest thing I've ever encountered to a true "Wonderland" story is Miyazaki's Spirited Away. The world is populated by a variety of unexpected creatures and the rule set of the spirit world is vague and fluid. Yet, Chihiro doesn't question the world so much as adapts to each situation she encounters. Once again, though, there is significantly more plot and character development in Spirited Away than the Wonderland tales (which isn't necessarily a bad thing).

Image source: http://spiritedaway.wikia.com

This week, I finally discovered a story that truly feels like Alice's adventures. An autumnal Wonderland. Nonsense and fairy stuff in a package wrapped with orange paper and smelling of cinnamon and woodsmoke. Throw in a dash of Kafka and zest of satire and I'm hooked.

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making is all of these things.

Image source: https://www.goodreads.com

It is simultaneously a traditional tale about a girl's adventures in fairyland (her name is September by the way), a critique of bureaucracy, honesty and adulthood, and a self-aware piece of literature that has a frequent tendency to break the fourth wall in the most meaningful ways. Like autumn, it is both vibrant and heartbreaking.

It comes recommended by Neil Gaiman, Tamora Pierce and Holly Black.

Like in the Wonderland stories, there isn't much of an overarching goal driving the main character. September's tumble into fairyland is whimsical and her encounters are circumstantial. Though she has many meaningful adventures and completes grand tasks, she takes on each as she comes across it. Much like Alice, she has no destination but travels through the world as through a dream. Improving on Wonderland, in my opinion, there is a significant amount of character development and metaphor which lends to the rich emotional atmosphere. 

The point is, if you love Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, if you're looking for a unique Autumn read or you're just generally into all things magical and bizarre... I highly, highly recommend this book. 

Added bonus: It's the first in a series!

Are there any stories that remind you of Autumn? If so, feel free to share in the comments! 

Looking for a good book?

I know it's a long ways off, but I'm thinking of putting together a book recommendation list for the holidays. I'd like to give some suggestions based on genre and similarity to more popular (which generally means Hollywood-adapted) novels. I've already got some in mind, suggestions for those who loved The Fault in Our Stars, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Twilight and some others. Now, I'd like to know what you think. 

I'd love to know what kinds of books people would like to see on this list. If you're looking for something in a specific genre/sub-genre (high fantasy, tear-jerker, dystopian teen fic) or you really want a book in the vein of something else you've read (or watched) recently, let me know in the comments. Or send me a message if it's for someone else and you don't want them to know. This will give me time to do some reading and re-reading before posting a finalized Holiday Book Recommendation List (or something catchier) come December. 

Sorry for the short post today, it's been a very long week. I'm sure I'll have something to rant about by next week... 

Kids' Stuff

Have you ever skipped out on enjoying something because it was "for kids"? Stayed home the night all your friends went to see that final installment of the Harry Potter franchise or pass on that new young adult novel the internet is fawning over? Teased your buddy for being a Brony or your girlfriend for shipping Korra and Mako? 

Image Source: http://avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Shipping
I'm more of a Masami fan myself...

What if I told you that it's okay to enjoy media marketed towards kids and young adults? 

What if I told you that you're actually missing out by omitting it on principle? 

First, I think it's important to examine why the thought of consuming children's media can be unappealing or uncomfortable.

1. Simplicity - we worry that stories for kids will lack complex plot or characters

2. Silliness - we feel that the content will be silly or cater too much to "children's humour."

3. Innocence - we think a lack of adult themes, such as violence or sexuality, will make the story boring.

4. Unrelateable characters - we're not sure what we will find in common with a cast of children and/or anthropomorphic animals.

5. Image - we don't want to be considered immature or childish for willingly consuming media intended for people well below our age range.

Now, before I begin unboxing these, I want to clarify what children's media I am taking about. Obviously, shows like Dora the Explorer and books like Spot Goes on a Picnic are significantly more simplistic than shows like Adventure Time and books like Tuck Everlasting. I'm not trying to convince anyone to enjoy ALL children's media, but to discourage people from dismissing it simply because the target audience is under 18. So I will be focusing primarily on plot-driven narrative aimed at children able to cognize and mentally examine the world and people around them.

Okay. So, simplicity. I think this is simply (ha, see what I did there) a misconception. Many narratives written for consumption by the younger generations are as complex and believable as their mature-rated counterparts. Again, I'm going to mention the Studio Ghibli films. My Neighbour Totoro and Ponyo are both aimed at children age 5+ and yet both feature a complex and gripping narrative about family, nature and the spirit world. Books like the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and a Wrinkle in Time are well known for their complexity. The first an allegory for the story of Jesus and the second incorporating intense concepts of space-time theory and mathematics.

Frozen is a wonderful example of the complexity of children's narratives. It has spurred countless debates between adults about hidden subtexts and the subversion of many tropes generally employed by Disney films. Check out Idea Channel's breakdown of the film for instance.

I also think it's important to realize who the real audience of children's media is. Rarely do children consume media independently, but are often accompanied by at least one adult - a parent, babysitter, teacher, etc. If Disney wants a child to buy a movie ticket to see their newest blockbuster, they need to entice the child's entire family. Their movie must be fun and entertaining for young children, engaging for older children, and yet still enjoyable for the parents. Writers have to cleverly craft a story deep enough for adults and with enough surface value to amuse the children who can't really follow what is going on. 

This brings me to silliness and humor. The flexibility that the movie and TV industry must have to appeal to whole families extends to comedy. Anyone who has watched Nickelodeon shows or many Disney movies could tell you that there is very often humor included "just for adults". Jokes that go over children's heads.

Here's a list of some of the jokes you may have missed when you were a kid.

Even ignoring these jokes, I would argue that the humor in children's content can still appeal to all ages. Ask most parents. They'll tell you how much they still laugh when watching shows like Looney Toons, Spongebob Squarepants, or Fairly Odd Parents. Ask anyone who has watched a Pixar movie if children's films can be funny. 

Robert Munch is a great example of the sweet, clever humor of children's books. Some great YA novels have setups and gags that could make anyone laugh out loud include Diana Wynne Jones' Howl's Moving Castle series, J K Rowling's Harry Potter series and Terry Pratchett's Tiffany Aching series.

And don't get me started on games. Mario, Ratchet and Clank, Sly, Little Big Planet. Each has its own brand of hilarity accessible to all ages.

All of the aforementioned have a well crafted sense of humor that mixes brilliant timing, intelligent setups, and, yes, silliness. And if you try to tell me silliness only appeals to children, please explain the popularity of comedians like Will Ferrell, Jim Carey and Amy Poehler. Not to mention most action films...

Image Source: http://pandawhale.com/post/16088/theres-power-in-looking-silly-and-not-caring-that-you-do-amy-poehler

Just as clean humor can appeal to a universal audience, so can PG rated content. A film, book, or game does not require adult-rated content to be entertaining to adults. If you really believe violence and sexuality are paramount to a film's worth, you are saying those are the only meaningful elements of human interaction. Which is fine if you think that, but kinda disturbing.

The reason I love children's and young adult stories so much is that they are generally a safe place. I have been feeling more and more lately that I'm coming across unnecessary violence and thematic elements in adult media. Whether this is for shock value or a justification for the media being deemed "mature" or "for adults", I'm not sure.  When I really don't feel like stomaching another bloodbath or rape scene, I know kids' movies and books are a pretty safe bet. 

That's not to say they don't contain dark or "adult" issues. Many children's narratives - the Lion King, Bridge to Terebithia, and Old Yeller for instance- include death as a central theme. They deal with responsibility and guilt for a death, coping with the death of a family member, and questions of an afterlife. Post-apocalyptic worlds and human survival are also very mature themes commonly included in media for kids. Nausicaa and Wall-E are both films that handle these topics very meaningfully while still being appropriate for children.

Image Source: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/coraline/
The "Other Mother" from Coraline

There are many other examples of adult or dark themes in children's media. Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series criticizes religion, questions the morality of humankind and the very nature of spirituality itself. Neil Gaiman's Coraline, aside from being genuinely frightening, deals with family flaws and the fragility of child-parent relationships. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask is riddled with dark scenarios as you fulfill a dead man's wish to save his illegitimate (and technically unborn) children from a band of pirates, rescue a girl from her father who she has locked in a closet, and many other similarly tragic circumstances. A bit of a spoiler (though it occurs about 10 minutes into the film), but Up deals with a couple coping with their inability to have children and the husband later coping with the loss of his wife. The list goes on.

Image Source: http://oninfertileground.com/infertility-in-film/
Most heartbreaking movie opening... ever.

I would like to think that the complexity of the plots and the mature elements presented make it easy to understand how the characters in a children's book or show can be relatable. They undergo complicated situations, they face difficult decisions, they ask questions that adults ask themselves. Elsa, from Frozen is the embodiment of many women's difficulty to come to terms with who they are in order to claim autonomy and independence. Not to mention a very human representation of the challenges faced by those with differing abilities or skills. The song Let it Go has even been considered a metaphor for expressing one's sexuality and "coming out of the closet."

Image Source: http://movies.disney.com/frozen/products
... and now it's stuck in your head

For those that find it difficult to relate to a character because they are a child - I think this is a problem many parents face regularly. I think a lot of frustration between pre-teens/teens and their parents is that the issues they view as important or crucial are viewed as petty to adults. Parents see teenage romance as fleeting and fun while forgetting that their son or daughter likely views it as very serious. Though a high school social drama will likely have no bearing on a person's overall life, it is significant in that moment. 

As I've mentioned before, fiction is important because it helps us relate and empathize with characters that may be challenging for us. We are given a unique perspective into the lives of people different from ourselves. More empathy can only be beneficial.

Finally, we come to image. What kind of image does it create when an adult consumes children's media? 

In all honesty, I don't think this question should matter at all. Does it make you less of an adult when you admit to reading The Hunger Games? Does it make you immature if you watch Adventure Time instead of The Walking Dead? Are you childish for playing Pokemon?

Let me word this differently. Is it immature of you to enjoy the things that make you happy? Does it make you an adult by hiding or denying when you find something entertaining? 

Image Source: http://cartoonpacks.com/adventure-time-wallpapers-and-backgrounds.html

Emmy loves listening to the Wiggles. So every day, we set her up in her play area, and put on a Youtube playlist of the Wiggles while she dances around. (We turn off the screen so she doesn't get distracted by the video.) The other day I noticed something disturbing - nearly all of their videos have 50% downvotes versus upvotes. The comments also reflected this. 

"Gay losers," some said.

"This shit is so stupid. Only kids watch this," said others.

I saw not a single, legitimate complaint about the content and the hate was generally directed at the show being for children. Personally, I'm given the impression that these are individuals who are unsure of their own maturity (and potentially their gender identities as well). They prove to themselves, and anyone who will listen, that they are adults by showing their vehement disdain for anything aimed at children. As though it is stupid and vulgar. 

As most people probably agree, all it does is make them seem even more childish.

I want to close this post with one of my favourite quotes. I have used it many times, but I feel it is a valuable truth. It comes from Neil Gaiman's Ocean at the End of the Lane, which I highly recommend.

 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I know it is not blog day. I'm sorry. I just watched this amazing lecture by Alan Watts and it touched on a lot of things I've thought about for a long time. Sorry in advance for the rant.

One of the first things we ask children when we meet them is "What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

I hate that question. 

I know it's meant to be an innocuous conversation starter for children, but it's a reflection of our career-obsessed culture. Because "What do you want to be?" really means "what job do you want to have?" As in the job you have is "what you are."  

It implies that they aren't something already. It implies that what they're "going to be" when they grow up is the penultimate decision of their life. It implies that their career is synonymous with their identity. 

Image source: http://www.costumes.net/kids-doctor-costume.html

The reality is that those children will go on to struggle with their identities because they are forced to mitigate their actual aspirations with "career-driven" goals. The reality is that they will pick courses and school programs that they think they "should" take instead of learning what actually interests them. The reality is that it creates a hierarchy of pursuits based on prestige and money. The reality is that most adults still don't know what they want to do with their lives.

And yet those adults will encourage their children to go through the same process all over again.

My job before Emily - Regional Client Services Assistant - is not who I am. My job now - stay-at-home mom, homemaker... whatever you want to call it - is not my identity. That's right, even being a mom. It does not make up all of who I am. Me... my identity... I chose those things. They don't define me, they are choices I've made amongst many others in my life; I define them. 

But when adults meet someone new, what is one of the first things they are asked? 

"What do you do?"

The expected answer being: "I work in an office" or: "I'm an electrician" or: "I'm a student" or God-forbid: "I'm unemployed."

But if you're actually trying to find out more about me, the answer to "What do you do?" is less Regional Client Services Assistant and more:

"Well... I spend as much time as possible with my husband and my daughter, I write fiction, I blog my opinion, I love being outdoors, I bake as often as humanly possible and love giving food to people (not to mention eating it myself), I read and watch TV and lots of other things I can't think of right now. Oh, that's not what you meant? You meant what I do to pay the bills. I didn't realize that was such an interesting topic..."

Seriously... anyone want some butter tarts?

I hate the idea of being "career-driven". That's not to say I think there's anything wrong with working hard for what you want. Career implies a "job". Career implies that you are doing something in order to make money to live. So "career-driven", to me, means working hard to do something, hopefully that you don't hate and maybe even enjoy, provided it pays the bills. I have heard many people say that if there were no monetary incentive, then people wouldn't work. Meanwhile, studies have shown that monetary incentive hurts creativity. 

By posing a child's interests as "career choices", all we are doing is creating an environment of stress and imposing a time limit on a child's self-discovery. Meanwhile, they're just trying to figure out who they are. What they enjoy. What they think is important. All it does is make that discovery harder and more convoluted.

This is my opinion. Live. If something interests you, pursue it. If you find it's not really what you want, that's okay. You've learned something about yourself. You've gained experiences. If what you love to do isn't something that makes a lot of money... do it anyway. You may have to do some part time work on the side, but if you really enjoy what you're doing, it'll be worth it. There's really no limitations. I have a few friends that chased the things they enjoyed and ended up doing things they love. I mean, really, it can be anything. People make a living playing video games and posting videos to the internet. If you love it, do it.

So let our kids find out what they love. Don't tell them they can be whatever they want and subtext it with... but aren't doctors and lawyers and engineers amazing and oh my don't they make a lot of money. Don't praise their artwork and then say what a great "hobby" it would be and too bad a career as an artist isn't likely to work out. If it doesn't work out, they will adapt. Just encourage them to keep doing what they love. They'll decide whether it's worth continuing. As long as they don't start out from the beginning with the notion that it's not even a valid option.

So what's a better question than "What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

I would say, just ask them what they love to do. Now. Today. Finding out what they enjoy now is much more valuable than trying to make them narrow down the interests they're going to have twenty years in the future. It also shows respect for the child. It tells them, I'm interested in knowing who you are now. What you love now is valuable. Your interests are important.

Hell, even adults could benefit from hearing that every now and then...