We need to talk.

I think even if you live under a rock, you've probably heard something about gender equality, sexual harassment and violence against women in the media lately. Whether you heard about Ray Rice's fiancee being beaten unconscious and the resulting #whyIstayed campaign, over 70 cases of US colleges mishandling sexual assault cases, the events surrounding #gamergate, the threats against Emma Watson and the UN's #heforshe campaign, the #yesallwomen response to an LA shooting or even Jeopardy's ridiculously outdated and ignorant "What Women Want" topic.... There's a lot to read about, to examine and discuss.

Before I get into any sort of discussion, I think we need to have a talk about something. The F word. That's right... FEMINISM (say that in your scariest Homeland Security TERRORISM voice). 

Yes, I am a feminist. What does that mean? Does it mean I think men are inferior? Does it mean I'm trying hard to overthrow family values, democracy and the patriarchy? Does it mean I'm trying to claim men have no issues and only contribute to the problems of women? And why does feminism give you this icky feeling like maybe you shouldn't touch it unless it's with gloves or maybe a really long stick?

 

Webster's dictionary defines feminism as "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." So all feminism means is that you think all genders should have equal rights. That's it. So if you believe men and women should be equal, you agree with feminism. Obviously the difficulty arises when individuals and groups disagree over what is "equal" .

Unfortunately, the aforementioned issues are pretty indicative of whether we have true equality in our society. Are the genders really equal when women undergo significantly more domestic and dating violence than men, still make less than men despite being statistically more educated, still have to cope daily with sexual harassment and degradation? And then on top of this be told that it's their own fault and/or they're imagining/exaggerating the problem?

And yes, before you start chiming in with, "but men have problems too!" or "I don't identify as a feminist because I'm a humanist and I care about all people," let me just explain why those are both red herrings that only serve to derail important discussions. 

We're not talking about men's issues today. Not because they're not important, but because we're talking about women today. This may have some overlap with men's issues since many of the same sexist attitudes that are harmful to women also hurt men (e.g. a general acceptance that feminine = inferior means men are criticized for having feminine interests, physical features, sharing their emotions etc). 

Let me simplify it so everyone can see how frustrating it is when someone feels the need to direct the conversation towards " but men get harassed too!" and " but look what men have to put up with!" 

Let's say I'm giving a presentation about cake (because why not). Suddenly someone has a question.

"But what about pie?"

"Ah, well that is also a dessert. It is similar to cake in many ways, but today I'm here to talk about cake."

"But pie is delicious too."

"Yes it is, and that is a whole topic on its own. So I'm going to return to talking about cake. Cake is often topped with frosting..."

"But pies usually have ice cream or whipped cream, not frosting."

"That's correct. Except we're talking about cake."

It's frustrating.

So why not talk about both pie and cake? They're both desserts, argue the humanists (dessertists?)

The problem is that by broadening it to a "human" problem you are disregarding many points. I agree that gender, race, religion etc shouldn't matter. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world yet. And the fact is that it ignores specific needs/challenges associated with different groups. If we don't look at why certain groups are marginalized specifically, then we won't know how to teach people not to marginalize or how to adjust our society so that it can be more inclusive. For example, women are frequently pushed out of the workplace due to pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding. Therefore women have a unique need for maternity/parental leave and breastfeeding support. There are also needs caused by longstanding cultural prejudices and beliefs (racism, ageism, sexism etc). Often people don't even realize they are being prejudice when stereotypes have been culturally ingrained in them for years. We have to first address these issues before we can look at everything on equal footing. This isn't to say humanism is wrong - it just means that feminism/ combatting sexism falls neatly under the umbrella of humanism.

So if feminism has nothing to do with subversive agendas and power grabs... why do I feel the need to separate myself from it? The answer is actually quite simple. Feminism is being presented and defined by a culture that still requires it. That is to say, if a culture still requires feminism then women are obviously not being given equal representation. How do you think a culture that does not give its women equal representation will present feminism? Not very well.

Anita Sarkeesian, creator of Feminist Frequency and pop culture critic, has an excellent video that demonstrates many of the ways that our mainstream media denigrates "feminists" and creates a negative, extreme image of what feminism is. (Keep in mind any group has extremists, so this isn't to say that there aren't feminists out there with exaggerated, harmful views. They are, however, the minority.) I highly recommend watching it below. As a side note - Anita was recently driven from her home by death and rape threats in response to a feminist video game critique she uploaded.

So where am I going with all of this? Honestly, there are a million things I could talk about. This week alone I've found myself hitting my head against the wall regarding multiple issues. Media representation of women, the importance of marketing for young girls, common misconceptions about women's standing in our culture. I think, for now, I'm going to start by introducing the event that prompted me to write this post. 

Sam Pepper. That is to say sexual harassment and rape culture. I will follow up with my next post, addressing the topic more fully. I'd love to do it now, but it's been a busy week and the post is already getting on. A lot of people will be turned off simply by the topic, I don't want the length to discourage them further.

A week or two ago, Youtube contributor Sam Pepper was accused of sexual harassment (and later of a whole slew of crimes including rape and sexual assault). I'm going to let Laci Green tell you about it, because she's the one who brought a lot of attention to it in the first place.

How does this kind of thing happen? Why were his videos so popular in the first place? Is sexual harassment really that big a deal? Is it really that common? What can we do to prevent it and raise awareness?

I'll be taking a look at these questions and more next week. For now, feel free to comment, discuss and ask questions. See you next Sunday.